Poo Poo In a Jar
by zhakeena
Summary: The Turks are sent on a mission to get back a certain something from Cid Highwind. Strange as it is, Cid doesn't wanna give it to them so easily... The story centers mostly on Rude. Watch him as he gets salary deductions from Rufus, hears strange things a


**Poo Poo In A Jar **

Written by: zhak! )

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII. sigh Certain Rude fics also inspired me to write this fic, so if you find any familiar ideas, they're either coincidental or just plainly not mine. I truly hope it's the former, though.

Warnings: Slightly AU. Non-canon (meaning, strange ideas, strange couplings, etc…) And… that's it.

_XOxoxOxoxOxxOOx! _

_Briiiiing…. _

_Click. _

Rude got up and shut off the alarm clock. He stood up from his bed, straightened out his Turk suit (yes, he sleeps in his Turk suit… an invaluable time saver) and opened the curtains to greet the welcoming rays of Mr. Sun. "Good morning, Mr. Sun," said Rude.

He adjusted his sunglasses. (And yes, if you must ask… he sleeps with his sunglasses on, too.) Then he walked towards the kitchen-part of his studio-type room. He got a bowl, a spoon, a carton of milk and his favorite box of Paopu Cereal (imported from Destiny Islands). Then he proceeded watching the early-morning Midgar news on TV. _Interesting. There's traffic somewhere in Sector 4 because a Behemoth decided to sleep in the middle of the road._

Ah, yes, the simplicity of the life of Rude… ends after breakfast.

He went out. It was already the ShinRa building, his workplace, since his room could be found there…

The room next door opened. Out swayed Reno… apparently having a hangover. His colleague was still in his pajamas. "Rude… that you?"

"…" Rude replied.

"Yeah… you still got cereal? Not that icky Paopu stuff, though," Reno slurred. __

The bald man shook his head. "I got toast," he offered.

His red-headed workmate just waved his hand and went back in, apparently to take a shower, or, Rude guessed, finally change his underwear. "Tell Tseng I'll be late," Reno said before closing the door behind him.

The bald man sighed and went towards the elevator. He pressed the Up button. And waited.

_XxOxxxOxxxxooXX!_

Rude went in the 68th floor Turk office. Elena was watering a plant. "Good morning Rude! Hee hee! Is Reno gonna be late again?"

He looked at her and nodded. "…" He gave her and the plant a look.

"Hmm?" Elena turned to the plant. "… oops. I've watered the wrong one again, huh?"

"…"

Elena stopped watering the plastic plant and went to the thriving ones by the window sill. "Sorry!" she said, blushing. "Oh… by the way, Tseng wants to show you something… but he told me not to tell, though. I'll give you a hint: it's from Wutai, and…"

Rude waved a hand at her to make her stop talking and went into Tseng's inner office himself.

Tseng's office was a little bit smaller than the Turk lounge, but it was still spacious enough for Tseng to put a lot of Wutaian relics and décor in it. Rolls of paper with a bunch of unknown characters (probably Kanji or something) hung everywhere, scary dragon figurines perched on tables had a look that threatened to eat visitors, and hexagon mirrors that are said to frighten evil spirits away are displayed. Rude could almost smell incense.

When he came in, Tseng was listening to the radio (Wutai Radio 87.6 WONG FM!) and humming along with a song. "Wu yao de ai, quevaiyungchungbailai…" was what Rude understood from the song. He was pretty sure that the lyrics were wrong, though. "… sir?" he meekly called out.

"Eh? Tseng!" Tseng gave a sound of surprise. When he saw that it was only Rude, he cleared his throat. "Good morning, Rude," he said, "Have a seat."

Rude sat on one of the red chairs in front of his desk. Tseng kept his boom box under his desk and sat up straight in an attempt to regain composure. "Where's Reno?"

"… he's going to be late…"

Tseng sighed. "For crying out loud, he lives downstairs…" he muttered. "Anyway, Rude. I'm sending you three on a mission today."

Rude nodded. Tseng opened one of his drawers, fumbled for an object, and took out a jar. "See this? Take a wild guess."

"…" The jar was interesting enough, but what was inside it made the Turk cringe… inwardly. Rude wasn't sure what the thing was, but he bet it was an aborted fetus or something. "… poo poo?" he said.

Tseng shook his head. "I don't know for myself, so… Anyway, back to the mission," Tseng got a few folders from the same drawer. He opened one of them and pointed at a 1x1 photo. "I assume you remember this man?"

Cid Highwind's mug grinned back at them. The Turk nodded. "You are going to this man's house. Then, you're going to get one of these things."

Rude frowned. "Why send the Turks?"

"For some reason, Mr. Highwind holds great value over one of these things. Knowing the man, things are bound to get violent… really violent," Tseng explained.

"Oh," was Rude's reply.

The door opened. In came Reno, slightly a bit decent than before, but still… quite indecent. "Hey! Whazzup…?"

Tseng frowned. "You ah late, Leno," he said, then bit his lower lip. His Wutaian accent slipped again.

"Yeah," Reno gave him the 'U Rock' hand signal, then took a seat. "So, 'lena tells me that ya got something to say…?"

Tseng showed him the jar.

"Eeew! What is that, poo poo?" Reno said, tapping at the jar, expecting the thing inside it to move.

Tseng gave a grunt. "Like I told Rude over here… I don't know. But whatever it is, President Rufus wants to get his hands on one. Cid Highwind's, to be precise, since this is just a paper mache rendering..."

Reno and Rude both raised an eyebrow. "That big OC (obsessive-compulsive) wants poo poo in a jar? What for?" asked Reno.

Tseng shrugged. "Turks don't question. Oh, yes, that reminds me, Rude?" The bald Turk looked up. "President Rufus wants to see you before I send you on the mission."

Rude's face fell. Reno laughed. "Knowing him, he's probably got Miss Lockheart up his office too… eh?" he ribbed his tall friend. "Good luck. I hope the salary deduction isn't too large… this time."

_XxOooXoooxXXoX! _

Rude waited outside the President's office until the secretary gave him the 'go' signal. Then, forcing his knees not to shake, he entered the room.

Tifa was just leaving by that time. "Oh, hello Rude!" she giggled.

"Uhm…" Rude tried his hardest not to blush. He could already feel Rufus glare at him from inside the room.

"Rufus was telling me of the _lovely_ job that you Turks do for the company… Anyway, I'm leaving now. Ta-ta…" she waved a hand and went towards the elevators.

Rude stood petrified by the doorway. The President's girlfriend had talked to him… _again. _Thanks to Reno, his crush on Tifa is a well-known humorous story… it's so popular that even the President, who doesn't think much of 'gossip', knows this as a fact. Sometimes he thinks that Tifa does this on purpose to get the Turk in trouble…

"Hello, Rude," Rufus said from his table, almost sneering. "Have a seat."

Rude stiffly made his way towards the seat. He remained standing. "You… wanted to see me, sir?"

Rufus handed him a CD. "Vincent Valentine, as I know, shall be visiting Mr. Highwind at around 10 AM for a cup of tea. I assign to you the honor of handing him this disc. Nothing confidential, but he must have it immediately," the President said with a snobbish tone.

"Yes sir," Rude said in a small voice. "Is… that all, sir?"

Rufus was staring at his nails. "Yes, that's all. You may leave." Rude walked towards the door, which was a good distance away from the desk. Before he could leave and give a sigh of relief, though, Rufus said in his trademark snobbish tone, "By the way… _salary deduction_."

Rude gave a long-suffering sigh once he left the room.

_XxOooXoooxXXoX! _

The three Turks were at the top of the ShinRa Building, prepared to ride the chopper that would take them to Rocket Town. "Who's driving today?" asked Elena.

"I thought you were…" Reno said, rubbing his head which was still throbbing.

"The last time, I got ourselves lost… remember? You shouldn't trust me in driving these things anymore! I got into soooo much trouble when we ended up in the Temple of the Ancients when we were just supposed to be in Kalm…"

"Okay, fine. Rude, you drive."

Rude shook his head. "Reno! You're silly! Rude doesn't know how to fly choppers, remember?" Elena piped up.

Reno shrugged. "Well, I'm not flying! I'm still a bit dizzy…"

"Huuu! You and your drinking habits!" Elena crossed her arms. "How are we supposed to get to Rocket Town, now?"

"Fine, stop your nagging, 'Lena! I'll fly…"

"No! What if we crash?!" Elena said with a hint of worry.

"But you said…"

Rude sighed. Reno and Elena were dating a few months, but they were already acting like they're married for about 20 years…

_XxxxOOoooXoXO! _

Sometime later, the Turks were midair, with Reno behind the wheel… or joystick, whatever was controlling the chopper. The helicopter was wobbling dangerously. "R… reno? Please be careful?" Elena pleaded.

"Suuure… I'm at the carefullest I can get!" Reno slurred, his eyes squinted. Whatever he meant, the two Turks didn't know… "Rude, you still alive?"

"…!!!" Rude replied, tightly holding onto his seat. He'd never admit it, but the bald Turk never enjoyed helicopter rides since he was deathly afraid of heights. He usually has his acrophobia under control, but with Reno flying the thing like that…

"Hey, look! That's Rocket Town down there, right?" Elena asked, pointing to a town below.

"Nope, that's Nibelheim… we gotta go a little bit further…"

Rude swallowed hard. The town, in fact, wasn't Nibelheim or Rocket town, since there wasn't a mountain or a large rocket ship… in fact, he wasn't sure what the town's name was. He's got a feeling it's Gongaga. "… oh no," he thought to himself.

Miraculously, though, they made it to Rocket Town. The chopper did an imperfect point landing, and the Turks stumbled out. "Land! Land!" Rude wanted to kiss the ground, but of course, he had to maintain the 'scary-ass Turk poise'. Several children playing outside stared at them in awe.

"Ooh... look at that man's shiny head!" one of them pointed at Rude's head.

Reno laughed. "Hey Rude. You're a celebrity here."

Rude kept silent. It's not that he didn't enjoy being bald… but that kinda hurt his feelings.

"Uhm… where's Mr. Highwind's house again..?" Elena asked as she looked at what she assumed was the Rocket Town map.

Reno looked at her map, then snatched it from her grasp and threw it away. "You got the wrong map, 'Lena…" Reno sighed.

Elena bit her lower lip. "Sorry… I'm sorry…" she said.

"Nah… s'okay. We'll just follow that guy over there," he pointed to a certain red-caped man walking down the street. The Turks ran over to him and Elena tapped his shoulder. "Hey! Vinny!" Reno called out.

Vincent Valentine, carrying a shoulder bag, looked at the Turks curiously. "Well… this is a surprise…" he said.

"You're going to Mr. Highwind's house, aren't you, Mr. Valentine?" asked Elena.

"Well… yes, since it's time for tea. How did you know…? Oh, I forgot, you're Turks. Anyway… are you going to threaten him or something? Because if you are, I really shouldn't lead you to his place," Vincent replied with a suspicious tone.

"No, no… The Prez just sent us to get something from him—I'm pretty sure he's got a call or something."

Vincent narrowed his eyes.

"Come on! Remember, ShinRa made peace with the world already…? We're not bad guys anymore," Reno said, putting an arm around the ex-Turk. "I know you're buddies with the Prez, right…?"

Vincent removed Reno's arm. "If you must… Follow me."

They walked in silence. That is, until Elena piped up, "I love your shoulder bag, Mr. Valentine! Where'd you get it?"

"Hmm? Oh, Sephiroth gave it to me."

"Mr. Sephiroth gave you a ladies' shoulder bag?"

Vincent gave a sigh… a long-suffering one. "… I'd rather not talk about it."

Rude tried hard not to cringe. He'd heard crazy rumors about Sephiroth and the ex-Turk walking with them…

_XxOoXoooXooxX! _

Cid and Shera Highwind's house looked just like it did before.

_Ding-dong. _

"If it's you smellin' Turks, I ain't here, $#!" Cid's voice boomed from the inside.

Shera opened the door and gave an apologetic smile. "Oh! Mr. Valentine and the Turks! Please, come in…"

"Shera?!"

Shera, still in her lab coat, let the men and woman in. "For heaven's sake, Cid! They're just here to retrieve that jar of yours!"

"Well I ain't givin' it to them ($#!$$..." shouted Cid from upstairs. "I already told that &#($ brat Rufus, it ain't for sale!"

"Cid…" Shera warned with a dangerous tone as she went to the kitchen to prepare tea. Vincent and the Turks sat down simultaneously on the couches in the living room. "Be hospitable!"

Rude pondered on the amount of cussing that goes on in the household, which led him to thinking, what kind of reality show the Highwinds could make? He could see it now: The Highwinds, on the Midgar Music Channel…

_That sounded foreign, _thought Rude.

Shera sighed as she poured tea in 5 cups. "That Cid… well, I suggest you Turks should make yourselves comfortable first before talking to him," she said sweetly. "He's not coming down anytime soon…"

"Well, we ain't going anywhere! Heh heh," Reno said, helping himself to the biscuits. Elena smiled at Shera and got her tea. And Rude… just sat there. He had a heart problem, and the doctor didn't allow him to drink or eat anything with caffeine. So, thirsty as he was, he politely refused the offer of tea.

Vincent sipped his tea. "Fantastic as always, Shera," he complimented.

"Why, thank you Vincent. And how is Sephiroth?"

"Please, don't ask," Vincent sighed.

Reno smirked. "So, rumors are true, eh…?" he said, elbowing the older man's ribs.

Vincent jolted, making drops of tea jump. "It depends. What kind of rumors are they?" Before Reno could reply, he held his hand up, "On second thought… I don't want to hear them."

"Aw… c'mon! They're pretty interesting… and colorful, did I mention _colorful?_"

_Too colorful, if you ask me, _thought Rude. _Ooh… disturbing images in my mind… Must… not… think… Oh what the heck. I gotta drink my caffeine, _Rude reached out for his tea.

"Re-no! Stop that!" Elena warned. "Besides, we have a mission, remember? Mrs. Highwind," she said, facing the older woman, "what's in the jar, anyway? Tseng didn't know either, and it's strange that President Rufus would want such a thing…"

Shera shook her head. "It's not eye candy, that's for sure. Whatever it is, I want to get rid of it … I was very relieved that President Rufus wanted to take it for himself."

"Knowing Rufus, it must have something to do with money," said Vincent.

"That #!!! Nobody's takin' this thing away from me!" Cid shouted from upstairs again. "Not until I'm done with it!"

"Cid! Don't cuss so loudly!" Shera shouted back.

"Shera… I'll scream whatever $# I wanna scream!" His wife shook her head.

"Well, my dear Turks, I wish you good luck. The only way to get the jar from him is to wrestle it away from him," Vincent told them. "And knowing Cid, he shall get violent… _very _violent."

"How violent?" asked Reno.

_XxOxxxOOOXxxo! _

Very violent.

When the Turks finally decided to go upstairs to the man's room, the first thing that greeted them was the pointy tip of his spear. "Don't come any nearer. Already told the $## Rufus; I ain't givin' this $# yet!"

"Please, Mr. Highwind?" pleaded Elena with puppy eyes.

"What would _you _want with that icky thing anyway?" Reno asked mockingly.

"None 'a yer beeswax!" screamed Cid. "Now get the $& outta here!"

"Hey Rude, find some way to distract him!" whispered Reno.

Rude wasn't exactly a specialist in the field of 'distracting,' but he knew a thing or two. Catching Cid's eye, he pointed to his own nose.

"Eh? What?" Cid rubbed his own nose to see if there's anything hanging, like a stray nose-hair or something.

The bald Turk didn't know why, but his trick always works. And it worked again. Maybe it's in the human instincts to be obsessive with how their noses look…

"NOW!" screamed Reno. He and Elena grabbed the end of the spear and used it to shake Cid's grip from it. "#$!" screamed Cid. He, however, was slightly stronger than the two Turks, so soon he managed to maneuver the spear to make them crash against a shelf. Various books, encyclopedias and dictionaries on piloting, exobiology and space travel landed on them.

Rude took this opportunity to try and grab the jar. Barely dodging the swinging spear that had the capability to stab through his intestines, he rolled on the floor and reached the desk where the jar was standing harmlessly.

_… ugh! _Thought Rude, now up-close and personal with the jar. As he grabbed it and turned around, jar victoriously in his grasp, he suddenly found his nose in the danger of being poked by Cid's weapon. "Ya ain't goin' anywhere, ya $#ing baldy."

The Turk's feelings were hurt again, and the pointy object threatening to pierce his nose with one movement made him nervous, but his facial expression was still the same as ever. "….."

Reno and Elena, groaning and heads bumpy courtesy of the books, helped each other up. Slightly disoriented, they watched Cid Highwind threaten their fellow Turk. "Put the jar back on the $#in' desk."

Rude didn't move, more pretrified out of fear than anything. But of course, the spectators didn't know that and deciphered this as an act of defiance or stubbornness.

"Now, baldy!"

"…..!!!" And besides, the smell was getting to him. The object in his hands reeked of shit.

"Are you gonna put that down, or am I gonna make shish kebab outta yer &in' nose?" Cid lightly poked Rude's nose to make a point.

"…."

Elena, hands sweaty, took this as the perfect opportunity to pelt a wooden stool at Cid Highwind's head. Her aim impeccable, she succeeded in knocking the man out.

"#$!" was the last thing Cid said before falling to the floor, unconscious.

"Hey! I did it!" Elena said joyfully.

Reno looked at the stool, at Cid and Elena and was still stunned. "… whoa," was all he can say before turning to Rude. "You alright there? Your nose has that big red mark on it."

"…." Rude replied, walking over to his comrades and holding out the jar for one of them to hold.

The smell was really something. Reno and Elena backed away. "Whoa! I'm not holding that thing!"

"Eep! Me neither!" To make a point, Elena pushed the jar away… making it slip from Rude's grasp. The tall man barely jumped away so that the jar won't crash on his foot. "!!!"

_CRASH! _

The contents of the jar splattered all over the floor.

In 3 seconds, Shera and Vincent were at the doorway, finally worried about all the noise they were making. "Oh dear… Cid!" Shera said, running over to her fallen husband who was still unconscious.

The ex-Turk looked at Reno accusingly. "He started it!" Reno said defensively.

Vincent sighed and looked at the mess on the floor. "It'll be quite a job to scoop that up and bring it to Midgar, don't you think?"

The Turks, realizing this, sighed for their sakes.

Elena, examining the pile more carefully, gasped. "Hey! There's something there!" she pointed at a spot in the poo poo pile and knelt down.

"Of course; it's shit!" Reno replied sarcastically.

The female Turk pulled down the red-headed Turk to kneel with her on the floor and held his head near the pile to make his see the object of attention more clearly. "See? It's weird… I think it's metal?"

Reno held his breath because of the stench, but raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah… Hey Rude, check this out."

Rude obliged. He spotted part of a metal chain in the pile and stared at it in awe. _Oooh. _

"Somebody pull it out!"

After much bickering, they decided that Vincent should pull it out from the poo poo pile with his claw since he couldn't feel his claw feel dirty, and therefore the disgust will be much easier to stomach. "Ugh," Vincent said, delicately pulling out the fine metal chain from the pile. Out came a heart-shaped locket. Turns out it was a necklace.

"Ooh… What's it say, Mr. Valentine?" asked Elena, eyes shining at the sight of the heart.

Vincent, holding up the silver necklace an arm's length away, forced himself to read the inscription at the back. "To Shera, the most beautiful woman on the Planet or any other planet for that matter. Love Cid."

Elena said, "Aaaw?!" Reno wanted to puke. And Rude actually thought that it was kind of sweet, but he feigned indifference.

And Shera, who was still nursing Cid on one side of the room, looked up at the mention of her name. Her eyes softened upon hearing the message, and she turned to face her husband, who apparently was conscious the whole time. "Oh, Cid!" she hugged him. Cid moaned since he was still in pain.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll do you the favor of sanitizing this object… I might as well have my claw chopped off," Vincent said upon exiting.

_XxOxxxOOOXxxo! _

Like a bunch of children listening to their gramps tell a story, the Turks sat 'round the sofa where Cid was sitting, ice cap on the spot where he was hit by the stool. They managed to shovel in the poo poo back to the jar, and had sanitized the locket successfully as well. It was proudly hanging at Shera's neck by that time. "Okay, you $$#s, listen up!"

_At one of their missions in outer space, Cid and Shera were hopping here and there at another planet, collecting rocks, measuring things among other things. _

_Cid thought it was the perfect time to propose to Shera, under the stars and all alone in outer space. He had a locket made and everything. He thought it was an ingenious plan at that time, picking a locket instead of a ring, since he knew they'll both be wearing gloves and there was no way to fit a ring around fat, gloved fingers. Anyway… _

_"… so, Shera, I was thinking…" he was practicing his lines over and over in a secluded place in the planet, where he was pretending to be collecting more rocks. His hands gripped the silver necklace. _

_"Yes?" _

_Cid cussed. "#$!" he turned around, and Shera was there. "Don't scare me like that! I thought you were an alien!" _

_"Sorry… I thought something might be wrong, since you've been muttering to yourself in the same spot for an hour now." _

_"If something's wrong, I'll tell ya. Now get back to your spot over there," he pointed faaaar away to another area. _

_Shera frowned, but nevertheless followed the Captain's orders. _

_"Now where was I…?" mumbled Cid. He tried feeling the locket in his hand again, but realized that it wasn't there anymore. Looking down, he saw that it landed on a pile of what seemed like fossilized extraterrestrial poo poo. _

_Not knowing what to do, he sealed up the sample and the locket in a jar. He was hopeful that he'll figure out a way to fish out the necklace out of the sample since the necklace was darn expensive. But even with gloves on, the unidentified slop burnt his hands everytime he touched it. He concluded that it was radioactive. He didn't get rid of the jar, though, in hopes of figuring out one day how to get the necklace back. _

_He ended up proposing marriage to Shera on the Planet. With a ring._

"Whoa. That's an incredibly stupid way to wreck your engagement plan."

"No need to remind me, you #$."

"Reno, I thought it was a sweet story!"

"It's quite a romantic idea for somebody like you, Cid."

"Shut up, #$."

"Oh, Cid."

"….."

Before the Turks went back home, Rude managed to give Rufus' CD to Vincent. Vincent thanked him profusely. When asked on what the CD contained, the ex-Turk smiled. "It's a well-kept secret. Ask your President about it…"

_XXXooooX0xxxX! _

"Excellent job, Turks," said Rufus, eyeing them and the jar. "You all get a salary raise."

The Turks stood in a line in front of the President in his office. "What for?" asked Reno. "We just got poo poo."

"This extraterrestrial sample, according to Dr. Lucrecia, might contain massive amounts of energy. It's a great alternative to artificial Mako Power, if you ask me. If studies are right, the small amount in this jar might power up the city for more than a year," explained the young President, flipping his hair haughtily as he did so.

The Turks fell silent, in awe. "Wow."

"I know. It'll save us an incredible amount of money, plus it's safe for the Planet," added Rufus. Turning to Rude, he asked, "Have you given the CD to Vincent Valentine?"

Rude, ever silent, nodded. "Good," said Rufus.

"Hey, Prez, what's with the CD? Is it a porn video or what?" asked Reno.

Rufus frowned. "It's none of your business."

"He told us to ask you about it," Elena piped up.

Rufus flipped his hair. "Hmph." Before he could explain a thing, Tifa entered the room without warning. "Hallo, Turks! And hello to you, Ruffy," she said, giving him a hug. The Turks, and especially Rude, tried hard not to react upon seeing their usually stiff President being hugged so lovey-dovely by one of their former enemies. Rufus managed to give a stiff, "Hello, Tifa," as a greeting.

"I just dropped by to say that Vincent, Sephiroth and Cloud got their copies of the CD. You boys did a marvelous job with your songs… everyone at the 7th Heaven Bar compliments my taste in music everytime they hear it! Tee hee!" Tifa said sweetly.

"Prez, you sing?" asked Reno.

"No," Rufus instantly answered.

"Oh yes you do, Ruffy-darling!" She gave him another hug. Reno, this time, didn't keep himself from chuckling. Elena barely managed to stifle a giggle. Rude was bleeding inside, but he didn't show it.

"Tifa, not in front of the Turks. I'll have to give them a salary deduction for witnessing this."

Tifa was well aware of that. She loved being the torturer… this time. "Nonsense… you're not that nasty, are you?" She gave Rufus a peck on the cheek, and waved to the Turks. Then she blew a kiss towards Rude. "Ta-ta!" she said, exiting.

Rude froze.

Rufus twitched a few times before growling his favorite phrase, "SALARY DEDUCTION!"

_XXXooooX0xxxX! _

Rude's bedtime. Since the next day was a Sunday and a non-working day, he wore real pajamas this time. "What a week," he muttered to himself as he turned off his TV. He didn't feel like finishing the romance novel he borrowed from Elena entitled, "The Snowy Nibel Mountains," since the lead character kind of reminded him of Miss Lockheart…

He lay down on his bed quietly. He imagined that in the next room, Reno might be watching late night TV, and if he was lucky, Elena was with him. Tseng might be talking to his relatives in Wutai at this hour since it's 9.00 AM in his homeland. Cid and Shera might be sound asleep, their marriage temporarily strengthened because of the day's happenings… President Rufus might be with his Ms. Lockheart at this hour (_ooooh…) _having drinks or singing each other songs or something.

Sometimes Rude can get too romantic.

Then he remembered Vincent. He hoped that, whatever the ex-Turk was doing at that hour… it didn't coincide with those disturbing rumors he's heard.

_"Muahahahaah! Vinneh!" _

The bald Turk eventually fell asleep.

(end!)

_XxxxxXooXOOxxOx! _

**Author's notes**: Enjoyed it? I hope so. I enjoyed writing it. (grin!)

If you didn't, thank you for reading up to this line and enduring my mediocre work. You may leave your flames at the reviews section. I only ask one thing from you: a little respect.

If you did, then YAY! I'm so happy! Really, I am.

I know you have burning questions about Rude, Rufus' band, or Rufus and Tifa, or Cid and Shera, or Reno, Elena, and Tseng, and most especially, about Vincent, so feel free to leave them in a review or an email. I'll try to answer your question by mailing you back.

Peace out!


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